Hi,
It's a perfect spring day. That was not the case last week, which saw the temperature reach nearly 90 degrees a few afternoons. This frustrated me at first - save this for the summer months! But the world doesn't fit so nicely into our human-created boxes. Waves of heat will burst through the averages established over years of record keeping, heralds of the new season.
But today, the windows are open and the sun is shining: a beautiful day. This is not how I expected to feel back at the beginning of last week. Work was rough. We are in the early days of the Summer Work Experience program, during which hundreds of young adults apply for an internship-esque role at ten to twenty local businesses, organizations and government departments. Part of the program involves an interview process. This, I was told by more seasoned employees, is a chaotic experience. In response, I could have asked, "What is so chaotic about it? What are some things we could improve or fix so we aren't freaking out?" My mistake was accepting the chaos as a given. And when the promised madness didn't arrive, I forced its creation in my body: stress, self-loathing, embarrassment.
I could spend this weekend regretting what I did, what I said, how long it took me to get my act together. Instead, let me see it as it truly is: a burst of energy portending the changing seasons. Jackie has a second round interview on Tuesday; I have my own summer programming to plan at work; at home, I will be waking up wondering what I can learn rather than what will go wrong. I am here to discover, to inquire, to wonder.
Yesterday, I released my first official essay on Pinpoints.Community. I shared the link on the Riley Brothers' Parties Discord server, saying that it was about "a certain social media platform" - Facebook. Of course it's about more than that, but I'll let you determine those meanings yourself. In the meantime, I'm hoping that people begin adding me as a friend. I'd like to promote my art, but I do not want to spend any money on it. Let me allow the Internet to work its magic; word of mouth is the only way I want this to happen.
Would I be remiss in not acknowledging Memorial Day? There's an immense amount that I want to say, but I want to do it with nuance and grace. It'd be impossible to tell the full story. But if I am to do what I claimed I would do in last week's message, I must say something. So: I am an American, and will be as long as I am alive. That is a blessing and a curse. What I am hoping to do with my art is celebrate the blessings, warn us of the curses, and allow myself to serve whatever purpose is meant for me. I will be gone one day and I hope to have no venom poured upon me - but that is not my choice to make.
Enjoy yourselves this week. I'll see you again in June.
Love,
Paul