Hi friends,
There are weeks when I really struggle to write these e-mails. It feels so important to get it right, to say something worth reading. Of course, the pressure to do so lies entirely in my own head. I've tied these e-mails to my website and since I haven't finished a new essay since the end of May, I think that I have to create something profound here.
But the main reason for creating Pinpoints was to build a virtual home. It's a place to leave my things, not an entry form for World's Greatest Writer. I'm just trying to carve out a little space of my own. So why do I keep letting monsters in?
After all, isn't that all that negative thoughts are? Gremlins who've decided to gum up the works; specters who haunt the spaces in a room where the light fails to illuminate. I've lately decided to appreciate them, to recognize that all monsters are simply creatures I don't understand. They exist outside of me, yet I've been trying to use my limited understanding of the world to explain their behavior.
What works better, I've come to realize, is kindness and curiosity. "I am not trying to harm you. It's okay. I will do my best to keep you safe. Tell me about yourself." Let the creatures come out of the darkness. It's only because they're so scared that they appear so scary to me.
The world has changed tremendously in the three weeks since I last wrote to you. One of my idols, Joe Biden, declared that he is no longer running for President. Kamala Harris is poised to become the first but not the last in so many respects. A coworker quit without warning last Tuesday (though I could say that she quit doing her job some weeks ago). And some dear family friends had a going away party last Sunday.
They will be traveling to Asia in late August for an indeterminate amount of time. So Jackie and I drove up to Concord, NH to spend some time in community with their loved ones. There were people I hadn't seen since before the pandemic, friends whose lives took them to other states. I met their children and watched this group play and cry and talk. We had cake - a necessary element for any party - and slowly said goodbye. My friend Damond remarked on how lovely it was to stand in a backyard by a pool, to see children run and splash and dance, to be with people whose lives are so exquisite that they can't be contained by a single label.
And that's what I hope to highlight today: I am tired of limitations. I am tired of living in systems described by others. Allow me to build a world that makes sense for me, because I want you to build a world that makes sense for you. Let us see how they intersect, and appreciate the distance between all remaining points. The void in between is not a scary cave. It's just home to creatures I don't yet know.
Good luck to you this August. I myself am hoping for a burst of generative energy for good things. In the meantime, please let me know how you are doing!
Love,
Paul
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